Holidays can be a hard time. I know. This thanksgiving I lost my grandpa. He’s only been gone for a week but it feels like years already. There are some days I see people with money buying stuff and I feel like a failure cause of the fibro and cause of my mental problems. I feel like I wish I could do more for my wife and buy her the world.
This year we are not fixing up our place. We just don’t feel in the Christmas spirit. Instead I just feel like staying in bed and sleeping away the rest of this damn year.
I want to believe in healing but I never see it happen. I hear about it all the time and I used to believe in it but lately I just feel like maybe it’s not for me. Some of my health issues go deeper then just fibro. Some I have had since birth. That is thirty three years of believing in something but nothing never happens. Instead I feel like a fool at times.
My depression seems to get worse during this time of the year as well. Any kind of issue sets me off so bad it takes a long time for me to clam down. I am ready for this year and the holidays to finally be over.
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